Gymnasietid

I sommerferien op til at jeg skulle begynde på gymnasiet, havde jeg en masse tanker om, hvordan mit liv ville udfolde sig, og hvordan min hverdag ville blive, når jeg begyndte denne del af mit liv. Så mange ting var planlagt på baggrund af en sparsom viden og store forventninger.
Jeg havde planlagt alt: Når jeg kom hjem fra skole, skulle jeg lave en times lektier, derefter gå en tur. Så havde jeg pause indtil vi skulle spise, hvorefter jeg skulle færdiggøre lektierne.
Henne på hylden lå det tøj, jeg ville have på den første dag. Min taske var fyldt med alverdens bras; skrivehæfter, tegnehæfter, plaster og tebreve. Jeg ville være forberedt på alt (dog var jeg ikke forberedt på de rygsmerter jeg fik af sådan en tung taske).
Jeg vidste ingenting; ingenting om gymnasiet, ingenting om mig selv og ingenting om livet.

Nu er der et halvt år til jeg er færdig, og selvom det har været 2 et halvt lange år, så ved jeg stadig ikke ret meget. Men lidt erfaring har jeg da gjort mig i løbet af månederne.
Gymnasiet har lært mig, at skemaer er kedelige, men behagelig ukompliceret og nyttig til at danne sig et overblik. Lærer elsker skemaer, eleverne hader dem, men når det gælder deres liv elsker de dem alligevel. De er trygge og danner faste rammer, når alt andet bliver forvirrende. Hormoner, ydre forventninger, øget ansvar, og så mange følelser, der farer rundt i hovedet, hjerte og mave på én. Selvfølgelig er det så rart at have nogle kasser man kan holde sig til, nogle rytmer og vaner, man kan bygge sit liv på.
Men ærlig talt, så tror jeg det er hamrende usundt. Både at leve sådan, men også selve tankegangen at det skal være nødvendigt.

Livet er så uforusigeligt. Der er så mange faktorer man ikke kan styre og så mange medspillere, skemaerne umuligt kan tage højde for. Og når livet er på denne måde, så utilregnelig og tilsyneladende kaostisk, så er det svært ikke at blive forvirret og sindsyg, når tingene ikke går, som man havde forestillet sig det.
Efter de første par måneder på gymnasiet, hvor alt det jeg havde forventet var blevet ødelagt, røg jeg da også ind i en mindre vinterdepression. Jeg holdte op med at skrive, hvilket jeg ellers havde gjort hver dag i et år op til gymnasiet, og jeg græd flere gange om ugen. Mine skemaer var gået i stykker, og jeg kunne ikke finde hoved eller hale i mit liv.
Jeg ville ikke acceptere, at det var livets vilkår. Jeg kunne ikke forstå det, eller også ville jeg ikke indse det, for det krævede, at jeg levede livet på en helt anden måde, at jeg skulle overgive mig til tilfældighederne og slappe af i usikkerhed og kaos. Ubehageligt.

Dette baksede jeg med gennem hele 2.g og meget af 3.g. Jeg bakser vel stadig med det, men jeg er ved at finde mig til rette med denne tankegang. Jeg aner ikke, hvad jeg vil næste år, når jeg har fået huen på. Skal jeg tage et sabbatår? Skal jeg tage på højskole? Flytte hjemmefra? Tage på universitetet? - og i så fald, hvad skal jeg studere? Men jeg ved heller ikke, om vejrudsigten for i morgen holder, og det tisser jeg ikke i bukserne af, for jeg er ikke lavet af sukker, og det værste der kan ske er, at jeg bliver lidt våd og skal skifte tøj, når jeg kommer hjem.

The Cuckoo's Calling | review

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Much like The Bourne Triology this is a story worth experiencing more than once. Even though this is a detective story, I'm curious to know whether I pick up the hints now that I have learned how it all connects in the end. Could I have seen it all coming or did Galbraith keep all the knowledge to himself and his private detective, leaving no real clues for the reader? From previous experiences with the author I'd like to say that the hints are there, but cannot know for sure as this is not a fantasy children's book.

I gave this 4/5 stars on Goodreads but not really because of the plot which actually was not as thrilling as I had first hoped. Not once was I so wrapped up in the story, so caught up in suspense that I could not put the book down. Plot-wise it deserves 3 stars, not 4. The reason behind the fourth star is the understanding of people and of the setting. Galbraith understands humans, understands their quirks, their nature, the many layers of a personality and this makes the story so good. I kept reading because I got caught in a setting painted by words, because I could not believe that Lula was dead either. She felt so real, they all did. Sometimes I found myself longing to google Guy Somé to see his designs or research Lula to finally see her stunning beauty. She felt so real, and I continuously hoped she had not died, that I would get to meet her by turning the pages.
Although there were a lot of characters involved they were easy to tell apart due to this fundamental understanding of human beings. They had individual ways of speaking; dialects and vocabularies; and this proved to be not only entertaining but also very helpful.
     Also the whole London atmosphere was described so clearly but so seemingly absentmindedly that it made the experience feel much more real and more natural. I have never been to London but the whole city noise felt so close; the double-decker buses driving past each other, the constant rush of cars and people talking and shouting.

Quite the book. Some loose ends were not satisfactorily dealt with but I suspect the next books in the series will continue from where this one left off, and I will definitely go right back to the London atmosphere with its fascinating people and surprising characters.
But until then I will end this with the words; go read it.

Bourne | review

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A few weeks back I watched the Bourne trilogy with my father, who have had the series recommended by a friend. It is an action thriller starring Matt Damon and it is surprisingly good. Normally I find action-thrillers rather dull, as I do not watch movies for the action but for the story, for the characters, the set-up and the plot. Similarly I do not tend to read crime novels more than once. Once the culprit has been revealed and the last threads have been knotted together, I loose interest in the story. This trilogy was different, however.

The story begins on a boat in the middle of the night. Upon discovering an unconscious man in the ocean, the crew members of a boat rescue him from the water, the bullets in his back and a tiny laser pointer showing the man's bank information. As he wakes up he is disturbed by a throbbing headache, a considerable memory loss and weird instincts that makes him a robotic killer machine if he needs it. Bit by bit he tries to discover who he is and what has happened to him, while a secret organization tries to terminate him for things he cannot remember he has done, or rather not done. 

Throughout the story we, as the seers, connect with the main character, Jason Bourne, on a deeper level than we normally would, due to him suffering from amnesia. Together with Jason we dig up his past through the three films, and together with him we have to deal with the dilemmas of his past, have to decide whether we are with or against him once we get the facts. This makes the story much deeper than I had firstly anticipated, as I thought the movies were like the James Bond series or like Mission Impossible where the main characters are one dimensional and the plot either too much and ill-founded, or too much and crude. 

Contrary to James Bond and Ethan Hunt, Jason Bourne has real character. Also, his relationship to women is much better and more interesting and more realistic than the two mentioned characters. Bond fools around with any woman he meets, ever. This is annoying and is very, very sexist. Ethan on the other hand is so perfect and it is just too freaking much, in my opinion. His feelings, the love of his life and his perfectly nice and proper personality is just too much. Jason Bourne on the other hand loves one girl, but again in a way that is far more realistic than Ethans, and I like this very much. He might not treat her perfectly, but that is just it. He is in a stressed situation and he has to think of their safety before her feelings. He does this because he likes her, not to be mean. Therefore I prefer Jason to Ethan and Bond. 
Moreover, who doesn't like a super cool, invincible ninja?

In every movie there is at least one car-chasing scene, and as they are a bit lengthy they get sort of boring in my opinion, but I am not very into that as it mostly consists of a lot of noise and wrecked vehicles and infrastructure. 
Apart from car-chasing there is also some pretty cool fighting scenes in every movie - both with and without guns. And as already mentioned Jason Bourne can be a killer-machine if he wants to, and has quite a bit of ninja-skill too, but his opponents are of similar skill, which only add to the enjoyment.  

Lastly I have to mention the cinematograhy which is quite beautiful; quite a few stunning shots of various cities gives the seer a nice overview of the storyline and nice breaks in the action. But not only landscape shots make these movies pretty; also the individual set-ups really add to the overall cinematographic feeling of the movie. There has gone series thought into every detail - considering both the plot and the shots - and it is this that makes the movies stand out in comparison to other movies of the same genre.

Overall very thrilling and entertaining films I would definitely watch again.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane | review

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I remember my own childhood vividly... I knew terrible things. But I knew I mustn't let adults know I knew. It would scare them.

Således starter Neil Gaimans roman The Ocean at the End of the Lane. Simple linjer, men yderst træffende for romanen, som i ledetog med Neils andre børnegysere, sætter børns angst, logik og verdensanskuelse i fokus.

Typisk for Gaiman er hovedpersonen et barn, der mangler opmærksomhed, omsorg, der ikke rigtig passer ind i den tilværelse, som vedkommende befinder sig i, og som, af denne grund, overlades til sig selv og kommer i kontakt med en verden og med angst, den ikke er voksen nok til at forstå, eller måske nærmere omvendt; som den ikke er voksen nok til ikke at forstå. For hvad Gaiman som regel bygger sine romaner på, er børns magiske syn på verden; deres frygtesløshed, deres ulogiske filosofi, deres uslukkelige kampgejst, og i høj grad deres tillid til folk, der endelig holder af dem. Gaiman beskriver denne barnlighed og uskyldige livsanskuelse så godt. Det indblik han har i børn og de tanker, de gør sig, er formidabel. Han vedholder den uskyld og tillid, der er i deres hjerter, uden at latterliggøre den eller kritiserer den. Børnenes ulogiske anskuelse bliver logiske, næsten fornuftige gennem hans ord, og han skaber en vidunderlig følelse af at være tilbage i barndommens forfærdelige og fremragende stunder, hvor verden så så anderledes ud, og tingene havde en helt anden betydning, end de har i dag. Netop af denne grund er jeg så fascineret af Gaimans romaner, og jeg håber snart, jeg får mulighed for at læse mere.

4/5 stjerner på Goodreads.

Maus af Art Spiegelman | review

Jeg havde aldrig forestillet mig, at temaer som 2. verdenskrig, dens følger, Holocaust og koncentrationslejrer udføreligt og acceptabelt kunne illustreres og beskrives gennem tegneseriens simple billeder og korte tekster, men Maus, illustreret og skrevet af Art Spiegelman, gjorde netop dette og meget mere. Gennem 296 siders enkle tegninger og gebrokken sprog, fører Artie os igennem sin fars rædselsfulde oplevelser under krigen, men med en velklingende personlig stemme. Især nøgleorderne intimitet og ærlighed er i fokus gennem fortællingen og er med til at danne en medrivende oplevelse og spænding - ikke kun i forhold til faderens historie, men også til det sideløbende indblik i Artie og faderens forhold; både til hinanden og de omkringstående.

Det enestående ved den graphic novel er denne forståelse for post-krigstraumaet, som faderen kæmper med i det daglige, og som i høj grad påvirker hans relation til omverden. Denne overbærenhed, der usagt præger fortællingen - selve behovet for fortællingen - viser kærligheden sønnen har til sin far, på trods af dennes frustrerende opførsel. Tegneserien er overraskende god til at give indblik og forståelse for den ældre generation, der alle har været igennem krigsknaphed, ubegrivelig angst og håbløshed.

Titlen 'Maus' refererer til jøder, som i tegnerserien fremstilles som mus. Nazisterne er i denne sammenhæng katte, og de fleste andre er grise. Idéen lyder måske fjollet, men det fungerer rigtig godt, idet det virkelig fremstiller 2. verdenskrigs raceadskillelse, der virkelig var i centrum. Det geniale ved valget af musen er, at dyret i høj grad minder om rotter, hvilket netop er ordet, nazisterne anvendte om jøderne. Grunden til tegneserien hedder 'Maus' frem for 'Ratte' kan nok begrundes ved, at historien gengives af en jøde, som umuligvis ville kalde sig rotte.

Begge mine bedstemødre har været igennem krigen, hvilket jeg nu indser virkelig har påvirket dem. Min mormor kan have store problemer med at smide for gamle kagerester ud, så dem giver hun os med hjem (så vi kan smide det ud), og min farmor er en yderst rastløs dame, som altid er på farten, men som også kan være ret nærrig, hvis hun ikke selv får noget ud af pengene, hvilket begge i høj grad kan beskrive Vladek. Denne tegneserie har på sin vis givet mig en lidt større indsigt i disse to ældre damer og en større forståelse for deres handlinger.

Alt i alt har det været en god og interessant læseoplevelse. Det største problem var uden tvivl, at jeg ikke havde mulighed for at læse den i en smørre, men hele tiden blev afbrudt af det ene og det andet. Den ville have haft en større følelsesmæssig påvirkning på mig, hvis jeg havde haft mulighed for uafbrudt at læse tegneserien. I det hele fortjener den 3,8/5 stjerner, men på Goodreads har jeg dog givet den 4/5. Kan anbefales.

The Book Thief | review

Last year, 2013, I read the amazing book that is The Book Thief. A wondrous, painstaking book that grabbed me from the first page until it tore me apart as I flipped over the last page, eyes swimming with tears and my heart bleeding down my lungs from my throat. Grotesque but true.
Today I watched the movie with my best friend Jamie, who equally has enjoyed the pain of reading the book. Needless to say that the book is a hundred-billion times better than the movie. Nothing can even come close to what The Book Thief is in its written format. Breathtaking and heartbreaking. But the movie was not bad, actually quite alright. A lot of the scenes were short and some of the really great, but not as essential, parts were missing which was a bummer but overall an okay film.

First of all the cinematography was stunning. The colour spectrum that was used was incredibly beautiful and the shots were very well thought through.

Furthermore, the cast was brilliant. Liesel and Rudy were adorable. Hans and Rosa matching each other so well. And Max. He was perfect and played his role so well.
Only Death, who was so brilliant in the book and the perfect narrator for the story, seemed out of place in the movie. His voice was too smooth and purely wrong. Not a big fan of how he turned out.

It did make me cry at the end but far from as hard as the book. The heartbreaking atmosphere which is created so well in the book was missing. Whenever it became too sad a funny line had been put in and the gloomy feeling of knowing what was looming in the horizon never became to apparent. It made the movie easier to see but did not give the audience the same overwhelming experience as the book did.